Making Games

So now the tech’s covered

There’s only one programming language I know, and it’s Turbo Pascal. Basically because they made everybody learn Turbo Pascal in our school back in the 90s, a.k.a. the time when we didn’t yet have autonomous flying Uber cars firing quantum entangled laser beams at robot sheep. (By the way, is the thing in the video what androids dream of?)

And NOW, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The award ceremony for Most Convoluted Blog Post Opening of 2015!  And the the award goes to… (*letter-tearing sounds* *drunken Johnny Depp wanders by*) …me! Congrats! Thanks! Great to be here! Alright, where’s the after party!

O-kay. So. I mentioned Turbo Pascal to underline the point that I’m no programmer, and as programming is the tasty magic sauce of game-makin’, it could be a problem. But, what’s convenient about The Now is that there are a bunch of tools that are aimed squarely at People Who Only Know Turbo Pascal. Since I’m looking to go down the story-based game road, I considered engines like AGS or Wintermute and bunch of others, and then looked into things like GameMaker: Studio, trying to balance in my head the league I play in (= noobs) and the flexibility and future-proofness of the tool.

I’m personally more of a Swiss army knife kinda guy than a Katana guy, so spending the time to learn an adventure development engine sounded like a scary proposition. What if I suddenly don’t want to make an adventure game anymore? What if my growing delusions of grandeur outpace my choice? GameMaker surely would be easy, but will the bricks of easiness gradually build a wall of inflexibility?

Right from the beginning, the obvious choice for a tool always was Unity, but I had this rock-solid internal certainty the Unity’s no good for me. Everybody and their dead grandmother is using Unity. It cannot be a good choice. Just can’t. I’m never going to use Unity.

So now I’m learning Unity. And wear a Unity pin on my bag. And went to the Unity party at GDC and had one too many. And sneaked into the Unity HQ to have pizza to repair the damage.

Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

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